This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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