I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i out mim tonsoeep
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
