Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize