It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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