Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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