I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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