I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
