four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
