Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize