Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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