remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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