I will die if light touches me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
