I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
