i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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