if you like me you must not know who I am
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
And then he peed in my hair
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