He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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