That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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