if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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