dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
