so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He felt like a one man threesome
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
