Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
