So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
