walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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