Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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