Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off

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(620): View more from Kansas

My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I wish you could order shots online.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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(609): View more from New Jersey

my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight

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(386): View more from Florida

Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.

(865): View more from Tennessee

Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?

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