just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize