so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
