After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
