I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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