Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
