my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
