she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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