so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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