Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
