Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
