dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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