i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
