The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
