giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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