How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
