Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
