Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
