quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
