I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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