I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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