i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
