Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize