I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
