i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize