If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize