I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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