if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My liver just broke up with me...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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