If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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