if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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