lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize