he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
