Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
