Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
