This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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