Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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